Whazzup?
Ok, so I haven't been posting (as people keep reminding me!). Busy, busy girl. Quick synopsis:
1. Had job interview for group health. Don't know how it went. Felt "ok" about the interview part, not as good about the navigation on their computer part (ok I MAJORLY blew a couple questions I think but was starting to panic), very good about the part where I listened to a call and noted the important points (unless I over noted them, if that makes sense). I'm supposed to hear back Friday.
2. Have to judge fun match this weekend.
3. Took the Banana tracking. She did very well for her first time - of course I only ran 2 tracks about 10 yards each but she seems to be a natural. Gives me something to do.
4. Passed my first course with 100% on both sections. Still have to do the proctored exam but I'm not at all worried there.
5. The rest of the time I'm sitting at work waiting on Henry. Poor guy had to be there 11 hour days last week. This week too.
That's all, I'll try to get energy for more later!
Monday, October 2
A very good weekend
For the very few who missed it...Miss Hannah got Best In Sweeps at our supported entry (out of 18 puppies) from the 6-9 month old class.
She was 2nd in Bred-by exhibitor that day (against adult girls).
And the next day, another giant entry, she was Winner's Bitch for a major over 16 bitches and her mom Alice got Best Opposite Sex.
A very good time was had. However I'm going to start serious starvation diet here!
For the very few who missed it...Miss Hannah got Best In Sweeps at our supported entry (out of 18 puppies) from the 6-9 month old class.
She was 2nd in Bred-by exhibitor that day (against adult girls).
And the next day, another giant entry, she was Winner's Bitch for a major over 16 bitches and her mom Alice got Best Opposite Sex.
A very good time was had. However I'm going to start serious starvation diet here!
Sunday, September 17
Back from horseshoes...
Some people trying to encourage me to stay in club, and saying that obviously nominations were screwed up. I feel petty, was more that I have no recognition and have done more this year than many people :)
Fall tournament was today so had to go to horseshoe party. Pretty DUMB. Oh well, food was good and somehow all the crazy catholics don't realize that I'm not one of them. And I looked supportive. Or something.
Sad news is that Evanne (Henry's sister) called and left a message...that told us right there it wasn't good. Grandma Katasse passed away today. She was in her high 90's. I don't have any other details as he's very snappish when upset and doesn't want to talk. Even when you aren't close (he was last up there about 20 years ago) it's a shocker. His dad died when he was 16 so other than his mother and grandma Bazil (who raised him) and a horde of aunts he doesn't have much family left. I think he's jealous of the fact I've known all my grandparents (and still have 3 alive along with 1 great).
Off again, head hurts.
Some people trying to encourage me to stay in club, and saying that obviously nominations were screwed up. I feel petty, was more that I have no recognition and have done more this year than many people :)
Fall tournament was today so had to go to horseshoe party. Pretty DUMB. Oh well, food was good and somehow all the crazy catholics don't realize that I'm not one of them. And I looked supportive. Or something.
Sad news is that Evanne (Henry's sister) called and left a message...that told us right there it wasn't good. Grandma Katasse passed away today. She was in her high 90's. I don't have any other details as he's very snappish when upset and doesn't want to talk. Even when you aren't close (he was last up there about 20 years ago) it's a shocker. His dad died when he was 16 so other than his mother and grandma Bazil (who raised him) and a horde of aunts he doesn't have much family left. I think he's jealous of the fact I've known all my grandparents (and still have 3 alive along with 1 great).
Off again, head hurts.
Am I being childish?
Ok, I've been on the board of the NWCF for a couple years now. My position is up for re-election. The guy who headed the nominating commitee already made a small stink over the Kimi to Carbon breeding - luckily another person warned me so I had Megan lease her so I couldn't be sanctioned. Or whatever.
Not only was I asked if I wanted the position still (I said yes) I wasn't told when I wasn't nominated again. Instead they recommended someone from their group and area. When I did the nominations last year I was so careful NOT to nominate just from one area (we encompass 4 or more states) or clique of people. Guess I am more ethical there too. What's better is they didn't allow for any floor nominations by not announcing it to people who didn't go to the Montana meeting until this week. Floor nominations closed 2 months ago.
Then he makes a post about "talking" at the board meeting about CoE violations. And then I get a private email from his mentor (same person who already warned me) asking what I did about the breeding. I told her, and then told her that I plan to resign over all of this BS and bragged on Guppy. I hope he doesn't make an ass out of himself at Richland and say anything to Kim - Kim we love you and Guppy!
Of course my position on the merle/brindle thing is that we should be allowed to breed them. Duh. It's been open in the past and is PURELY a politics issue, NOT a genetic issue. Someone who has only had 2 litters, of brindles, and is less than 4 years in the breed total has NO right to tell me what to do. I just feel dumb because I nominated HIM for his current board position.
Oh well, I probably missed what I was venting. On the bright side I just colored my hair and maybe it's the fumes.
Ok, I've been on the board of the NWCF for a couple years now. My position is up for re-election. The guy who headed the nominating commitee already made a small stink over the Kimi to Carbon breeding - luckily another person warned me so I had Megan lease her so I couldn't be sanctioned. Or whatever.
Not only was I asked if I wanted the position still (I said yes) I wasn't told when I wasn't nominated again. Instead they recommended someone from their group and area. When I did the nominations last year I was so careful NOT to nominate just from one area (we encompass 4 or more states) or clique of people. Guess I am more ethical there too. What's better is they didn't allow for any floor nominations by not announcing it to people who didn't go to the Montana meeting until this week. Floor nominations closed 2 months ago.
Then he makes a post about "talking" at the board meeting about CoE violations. And then I get a private email from his mentor (same person who already warned me) asking what I did about the breeding. I told her, and then told her that I plan to resign over all of this BS and bragged on Guppy. I hope he doesn't make an ass out of himself at Richland and say anything to Kim - Kim we love you and Guppy!
Of course my position on the merle/brindle thing is that we should be allowed to breed them. Duh. It's been open in the past and is PURELY a politics issue, NOT a genetic issue. Someone who has only had 2 litters, of brindles, and is less than 4 years in the breed total has NO right to tell me what to do. I just feel dumb because I nominated HIM for his current board position.
Oh well, I probably missed what I was venting. On the bright side I just colored my hair and maybe it's the fumes.
Friday, September 15
Weird Washington Laws - better known as "WHY would I live here?"
Ok, I know of many more but these all struck me tonight...
- It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and notify the chief of police as he enters the town
- All lollipops are banned
- An old Washington law sent duelists to jail for 10 years (assuming I guess that they didn't loose the duel!)
- In Auburn: Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may go to jail for 5 years.
- In Seattle it's illegal to carry a concealed weapon over 6 feet in length
- There is another law stating it's illegal to have sex with a virgin under ANY circumstances
- It's illegal to sleep in an outhouse without the owner's permission
- It's illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag
- People may not buy a mattress on Sunday
- In Seattle it's illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound of sloshing water may disturb other passengers
- In Spokane it's illegal to buy a TV on Sunday
- You need a license to sell condoms
- In Wilbur it's illegal to ride an ugly horse
- Washington doesn't allow fake wrestling
- When 2 trains come to an crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed
Ok, I know of many more but these all struck me tonight...
Thursday, September 14
Sigh....
I know I haven't been posting much. Just busy - I'm uptraining at work 3 days a week and on the phones 2 so my schedule changes back and forth. Plus waiting for Henry who works anywhere from 10-11 hours a day (so I'm ususally there either an hour and a half early or late). No time to do more than read.
I am sending info to go back to school thru the distance program (all I can do and work) to be a certified (AVMA) vet tech. Certification isn't required in WA or OR but with the long term idea of a better job...plus I LIKE learning. Should be a breeze the first quarter even with 17 credits as some classes I did before (intro to bio, Eng 101, CS 101 etc) but decided not worth the transfer trouble (still have to pay for the classes basically).
H's grandma Katasse is in the hospital. Not good but nothing we can do. Gads she's like 97 or 99 or something and not concious. We can't afford to fly to Juneau even if she goes. He seems to be handling it well BUT you never know with him! He's not especially close with that side of the family - he has an older half sister but his dad died when he was 13 in a logging accident - and I think he still is mad that they offered to fly us up there for a honeymoon and then changed their minds as they were all "too busy" and not one of them came to our wedding. (side note: I LIKED going to the coast and random no plans anyway!). (side note 2: Dad - this is WHY his sister called you looking for him)
So here I am at 2 in the morning, can't sleep anyway, figured I'd bitch for a few minutes to ya'all. Still waiting to see if they re-evaluate H's position name and pay at work (the wheels grind VERY slowly there!) but the local uppity ups are for it. Would be a signifigant raise for changing the title from "supervisor" to "manager" and not changing the workload - but then again his workload seems to be pretty big for what he makes. Now if only it included a parking pass...
BTW - from the Rum discussion - weird that I even like it. I keep thinking the pirate tune (yo ho h0 and a bottle of rum). Guess it mixes better than vodka and I'm somewhat out of the alcoholic seeming drinking to get drunk stage. I feel old!
On that note walked down to rite-aid from work with a teenytiny 19yo friend Sami and some lady in the crosswalk called me her MOTHER. She (and H) have gotten a great kick out of that and I'm thinking time for a facelift! I didn't start at 14. I swear!
Off again now that I've updated ya'all.
I know I haven't been posting much. Just busy - I'm uptraining at work 3 days a week and on the phones 2 so my schedule changes back and forth. Plus waiting for Henry who works anywhere from 10-11 hours a day (so I'm ususally there either an hour and a half early or late). No time to do more than read.
I am sending info to go back to school thru the distance program (all I can do and work) to be a certified (AVMA) vet tech. Certification isn't required in WA or OR but with the long term idea of a better job...plus I LIKE learning. Should be a breeze the first quarter even with 17 credits as some classes I did before (intro to bio, Eng 101, CS 101 etc) but decided not worth the transfer trouble (still have to pay for the classes basically).
H's grandma Katasse is in the hospital. Not good but nothing we can do. Gads she's like 97 or 99 or something and not concious. We can't afford to fly to Juneau even if she goes. He seems to be handling it well BUT you never know with him! He's not especially close with that side of the family - he has an older half sister but his dad died when he was 13 in a logging accident - and I think he still is mad that they offered to fly us up there for a honeymoon and then changed their minds as they were all "too busy" and not one of them came to our wedding. (side note: I LIKED going to the coast and random no plans anyway!). (side note 2: Dad - this is WHY his sister called you looking for him)
So here I am at 2 in the morning, can't sleep anyway, figured I'd bitch for a few minutes to ya'all. Still waiting to see if they re-evaluate H's position name and pay at work (the wheels grind VERY slowly there!) but the local uppity ups are for it. Would be a signifigant raise for changing the title from "supervisor" to "manager" and not changing the workload - but then again his workload seems to be pretty big for what he makes. Now if only it included a parking pass...
BTW - from the Rum discussion - weird that I even like it. I keep thinking the pirate tune (yo ho h0 and a bottle of rum). Guess it mixes better than vodka and I'm somewhat out of the alcoholic seeming drinking to get drunk stage. I feel old!
On that note walked down to rite-aid from work with a teenytiny 19yo friend Sami and some lady in the crosswalk called me her MOTHER. She (and H) have gotten a great kick out of that and I'm thinking time for a facelift! I didn't start at 14. I swear!
Off again now that I've updated ya'all.
Saturday, September 2
I'm not a boozer!
Try Captain Morgan's Tattoo. It's good. Of course I love the Silver Label with pineapple juice but this dark is good with Orange juice (probably too strong for pineapple).
Was supposed to go hang out with Amanda and Mike tonight but just didn't feel like it so we will all BBQ tomorrow. Amanda is one of the QA's for my job (ie she scores my calls) in some kind of funny coincidence (she and Henry were friends in the QA department while he was there) and I got Mike a job at Guardian for awhile. He's got me a lead on another job that the employees like better so may look into that.
Interesting factiod - despite HATING my job I guess I have more 100% QA's than anybody else currently on the floor in the company. Good but not if I ever want OFF the phones, lol!
Tomorrow we are going to take the dogs to the "Pig Out In the Park", some big deal in Spokane, and walk them around. We all know how they hate people. Will get pix.
Wish I were at a dog show.
Try Captain Morgan's Tattoo. It's good. Of course I love the Silver Label with pineapple juice but this dark is good with Orange juice (probably too strong for pineapple).
Was supposed to go hang out with Amanda and Mike tonight but just didn't feel like it so we will all BBQ tomorrow. Amanda is one of the QA's for my job (ie she scores my calls) in some kind of funny coincidence (she and Henry were friends in the QA department while he was there) and I got Mike a job at Guardian for awhile. He's got me a lead on another job that the employees like better so may look into that.
Interesting factiod - despite HATING my job I guess I have more 100% QA's than anybody else currently on the floor in the company. Good but not if I ever want OFF the phones, lol!
Tomorrow we are going to take the dogs to the "Pig Out In the Park", some big deal in Spokane, and walk them around. We all know how they hate people. Will get pix.
Wish I were at a dog show.
Wednesday, August 30
Thoughts of a Dog Guru...
Is anybody else's favorite question:
"Hey, what are you eating?"
Maybe it's a bad sign as it's almost always aimed at Hannah...
Is anybody else's favorite question:
"Hey, what are you eating?"
Maybe it's a bad sign as it's almost always aimed at Hannah...
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades....
This week I just couldn't go.
It's not that I have anything against H's boss and his dad and all his friends from church.
It's more that I have no interest in hanging out with the wives and talking food and church (not my thing!) while the men make dirty jokes and drink beer. Much rather do that myself BUT wommenfolk aren't supposed to do that.
So I cheerfully waved my SO off to go play horseshoes at the weekly get-together. Did I mention we are having pouring rain and I bet we get lightening later?
Maybe I'm just SMARTER than the men! Besides he can get fed well there and I can eat sliced cheese and hot dogs for dinner.
Finally starting to get over sinus infection thing. Been a rotten week. Trying to decide what to do for the weekend as I doubt we can find camping at this point (haha!) and I just was told I don't have to work for Sears calls on Monday (which often happens on Delta Dental holidays).
Off to see wizard. Or watch House MD, my favorite non-reality show!
This week I just couldn't go.
It's not that I have anything against H's boss and his dad and all his friends from church.
It's more that I have no interest in hanging out with the wives and talking food and church (not my thing!) while the men make dirty jokes and drink beer. Much rather do that myself BUT wommenfolk aren't supposed to do that.
So I cheerfully waved my SO off to go play horseshoes at the weekly get-together. Did I mention we are having pouring rain and I bet we get lightening later?
Maybe I'm just SMARTER than the men! Besides he can get fed well there and I can eat sliced cheese and hot dogs for dinner.
Finally starting to get over sinus infection thing. Been a rotten week. Trying to decide what to do for the weekend as I doubt we can find camping at this point (haha!) and I just was told I don't have to work for Sears calls on Monday (which often happens on Delta Dental holidays).
Off to see wizard. Or watch House MD, my favorite non-reality show!
Monday, August 28
Comparing dogs, men and women (just to be fair)...
1. How Dogs and Men Are the Same
- Both take up too much space on the bed.
- Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
- Both are threatened by their own kind.
- Both mark their territory.
- Both are bad at asking you questions.
- Neither tells you what's bothering them.
- The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
- Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
- Neither does any dishes.
- Both fart shamelessly.
- Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
- Both like dominance games.
- Both are suspicious of the postman.
- Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
- Neither understands what you see in cats.
2. How Dogs Are Better Than Men
- Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
- Dogs miss you when you're gone.
- Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
- Dogs don't criticize your friends.
- Dogs admit when they're jealous.
- Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
- Dogs don't laugh at how you throw).
- Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
- You can train a dog.
- Dogs are easy to buy for.
- You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
- The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, the *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
- Dogs understand what no means.
- Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
- Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
- Dogs admit it when they're lost.
- Dogs are color blind.
- Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
- Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
3. Where Dogs Fall Down
- Men only have two feet that track in mud.
- Men can buy you presents.
- Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.
- Men are a little bit more subtle.
- Men don't eat turds on the sly.
- Dogs have dog breath all the time.
- Men can do math stuff. But then, who really needs a man to do math?
- Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.
- It's fun to dry off a wet man.
And the reverse-----
WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN.....
- Dogs don't ask what are you thinking.
- Dogs don't cry.
- Dogs love it when your friends come over.
- Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
- Dogs think you sing great.
- A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
- Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
- "The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you"
- Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
- Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
- Dogs are excited by rough play.
- Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
- Dogs love red meat.
- Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
- Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
- "If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it."
- Dogs don't shop.
- Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
- A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.
- Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
- A dog's parents never visit.
- Dogs love long car trips.
- Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
- Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.
Top Dog Pet Peeves About Humans
- When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
- Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
- Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!
- How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)
- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?
- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...stop it.
- Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?
- Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...idiot.
- How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.
- Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?
- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
- When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?
- Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.
- The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you turd
Tuesday, August 22
Good day for getting up early...
Why on earth am I so excited??? I just got offered to start earlier (only an hour but that means I miss the quiet end of the day). Guess I'm nuts. Of course at Guardian I started at 5a.m. so this will still seem late.
However that makes me happy that they recognize I'm good at what I do and quick.
And today was FREE DRINKS at Dutch Bros for all Delta Dental reps. Now Dutch Bros is from Medford so I was so psyched when it opened here finally. Homesick still? Or something. One day I will wrap my mind around the idea that I live here. But it was good and I had 2 of the bestest ever Strawberry smoothies and a steamer. I'm in my 30's and still don't drink coffee.
Off to WOW.
Why on earth am I so excited??? I just got offered to start earlier (only an hour but that means I miss the quiet end of the day). Guess I'm nuts. Of course at Guardian I started at 5a.m. so this will still seem late.
However that makes me happy that they recognize I'm good at what I do and quick.
And today was FREE DRINKS at Dutch Bros for all Delta Dental reps. Now Dutch Bros is from Medford so I was so psyched when it opened here finally. Homesick still? Or something. One day I will wrap my mind around the idea that I live here. But it was good and I had 2 of the bestest ever Strawberry smoothies and a steamer. I'm in my 30's and still don't drink coffee.
Off to WOW.
Here Kitty kitty kitty
I got me a new cat. Why? Because I like the comfort of cats, Wally likes cats, Hannah *thinks* she might like cats. H, of course, is still upset about the last cat dying.
Now trying to remember how to add pictures...there we go! (no, I didn't take them - they came with said cat)
Her name be "Callie" which is entirely mundane and boring for a calico cat. She's very unique looking and sheds copious amounts of hair. She's also one of the friendliest cats ever. Good for when I decide to become single and a crazy cat-dog-lady (lol). Got her from the dauschund rescue group here, and will keep in touch as the lady breeds lovely Morgans.
For other news I guess I got client monitored today and am "the bomb" to listen to on the phone. Fun. I STILL hate my job but at least I'm good at it. Seriously thinking of going back to school as a vet tech or something. Still make shit for money but the potential rewards are so much better.
more later as thoughts permit.
Thursday, August 10
Train my dogs? Not a chance...
I'm lazy these days. Haven't even really worked Banana - luckily she's a natural.
http://www.dragonflyllama.com/%20DOGS/Writing/confstack.html
One more and then I promise to quit for the night...really...surfing at 1am is bad...
http://www.inthe80s.com/dynamic/child8e.shtml
I qualify child of the 80's not as being born after 80 but actually spending your childhood in them. I was born in 75, thus was 4 and a half when the decade turned and 15 and a half when it ended. I remember Ronald Reagan being elected, Mt St Helens, the Challenger and various other important moments in time. Half the people I work with don't remember ANY of the 80s.
http://www.inthe80s.com/dynamic/child8e.shtml
I qualify child of the 80's not as being born after 80 but actually spending your childhood in them. I was born in 75, thus was 4 and a half when the decade turned and 15 and a half when it ended. I remember Ronald Reagan being elected, Mt St Helens, the Challenger and various other important moments in time. Half the people I work with don't remember ANY of the 80s.
The Six levels of Hangover Hell________________________________________
1st Level: The Ducked Bullet
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep was deep and all those carbo-loaded beers have gifted you with a week’s worth of misplaced energy. During lunch you torture your less fortunate coworkers, bragging about how you can pound booze all night, drink warm gin out of a dirty ashtray for breakfast, and still show up fifteen minutes early for work. You crave a steak sub and a side of gravy fries.
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2nd Level: The Thirsty Animal
No real pain, but something is definitely amiss. You look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. You are definitely dehydrated and after drinking two Gatorades you still feel that way. You feel kinda dumb and you notice the temporary lowering of your IQ has made you more sociable and less concerned with workaday worries. You crave a fruity pancake from IHOP.
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3rd Level: The Headwound That Won’t Heal
Slight headache. Stomach is upset. You are definitely not the paradigm of a productive worker. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the warm gin shots you did at your friend’s apartment after the bouncer ejected you at 1:45 a.m. Memories of bad behavior seep in and you cringe with shame. Life would be much, much better if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching Hogan’s Heroes reruns. You've had four cups of coffee, a gallon of water, three iced teas and a diet coke and you haven't peed once.
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4th Level: The Hunchback of Cheap Champagne
You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or you’ll punctuate your sentences with vomit. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and reeking of booze. The clothes you put on won’t win you any fashion awards and your face looks like a golf green mowed by a blind junkie (ladies, it looks like you applied your make-up with a shotgun). Your eyes are red enough to give your features a lizardish cast and your hair makes your coworkers ask if you’re starting up a new wave band. You vaguely remember doing some really dumb and embarrassing things last night and you don’t care. You would murder your favorite bartender for a foot-long Bratwurst smothered with dijon and fried onions.
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5th Level: Dr. Kevorkian’s Dream Date
You don’t feel human, you don’t even feel like a mammal. Your long morning shower didn’t take, no amount of soap could penetrate the coat of sleaze. You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employees sitting near you. You’re getting drunk from the vodka vapors seeping from every pore. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from the futile attempt to remove the taste of decaying rat. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, your tongue flops in your mouth like a nightmare-plagued wino thrashing around in his cardboard hooch. You'd cry like a baby but that would steal the last few drops of moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty awesome right now. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank, and why there is a stranger still passed out in your bed.
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6th Level: The Infinite Nutsmacker
You wake up on your bathroom floor, your arms death-locked around your porcelain lover. You would vomit but you quite apparently took care of that last night, with none too good of an aim. You turn your head too quickly and smell the funk of 13 packs of cigarettes in your hair. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights—some sadist handed you a pack of Pall Mall nonfilters and you chain-smoked them like it was your full-time job, telling anyone who would listen that smoking filtered cigarettes is like drinking whiskey through a bar rag. You look in the mirror and find the Ready to Rock stamp has migrated from your right hand to your forehead with the help of Jager magic. You try to rehydrate but all you can stand is one cupped handful of brackish tap water. You crawl into the shower and the coldest water fails to revive your nerve endings as you mumble solemn oaths of never, ever letting a single drop of evil alcohol inside your body again. Ever .
If you could remember your behavior last night you would never step outside your apartment again, but the last thing you recall is accepting your ninth shot offer with the exhortation, “Hell yes! Let’s get this party started!” Everything after that is a black vacuum populated with shifting, vaguely-menacing shapes.
Instead of yelling at you for being late, your boss solemnly invites you into his office to ask you if a parent or sibling passed away. Your super-sensitive ears pick up low talk among your coworkers about “interventions” and “rehab.” The cute girl from accounting you’ve been flirting with for three months looks at you like you’re a leprous hunchback who has come for her organs. You cannot bear to eat, the granola bar from the snack machine sticks in your craw like petrified log jammed in a woodchipper. You curse yourself for not calling in sick because all you can manage to do is sit in your chair and breathe . . . very gently.
Proof that video games are for perverts:
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/sexual-games/1.php
Thus I am a pervert. At least I am honest. Still working on getting SO to admit it.
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/sexual-games/1.php
Thus I am a pervert. At least I am honest. Still working on getting SO to admit it.
Wednesday, August 9
Bugs are cool
I got out of the car after work and there was an honest to dog praying mantis that I almost stepped on. I don't know that I've ever seen a PM before. Really - after this many dog years you would think that I wouldn't want to catch and play with bugs and creepy crawly things...
So I let him crawl up my arm and he's ran all over my shirt. No bug turds yet. He's still with me watching but I probably should let him go. If H hadn't taken the camera with him to SA I'd take a picture. I'd post it too if I knew how this thing worked.
Another day at work. I REALLY need to decide what to do with my life! I made 4 word searches today for the other reps to do - all dental related. Talk about a depressingly boring job. The high point of my day was getting another perfect QA score (I rock but doesn't hurt that the QA is a friend either). Low point was about cussing out dental assistant who was apparently not native (how can I say this nicely without sounding prejudical and bigoted?) and recently relocated to California from elsewhere (Asia).
Me: Can I have the Dr's Tax Identification Number Please?
her: You mean Tax ID?
Me: yes, the tax id or identification number
Her:Doctor's tax identification?
Me: Yes, the number so I can verify your identification
Her: You want the Tax Id?
Me:There is a $1500 calander year maximum
Her: What is the maximum
Me:$1500, per calander year
Her:Oh $1500. Is that a calander year maximum?
Me: Yes, it's a calander year.
Her:What is your calander year?
(OMG - LIKE ON A CALANDER!)
Sigh. 15 minutes of that was about to kill me.
I'm good at my job. I just hate it. I guess that *is* part of being grown up. At least my supervisor adores me.
Ok, I did buy a good TV dinner (marie calander year's) but I think I need frozen strawberry waffles. That's comfort food, right?
I got out of the car after work and there was an honest to dog praying mantis that I almost stepped on. I don't know that I've ever seen a PM before. Really - after this many dog years you would think that I wouldn't want to catch and play with bugs and creepy crawly things...
So I let him crawl up my arm and he's ran all over my shirt. No bug turds yet. He's still with me watching but I probably should let him go. If H hadn't taken the camera with him to SA I'd take a picture. I'd post it too if I knew how this thing worked.
Another day at work. I REALLY need to decide what to do with my life! I made 4 word searches today for the other reps to do - all dental related. Talk about a depressingly boring job. The high point of my day was getting another perfect QA score (I rock but doesn't hurt that the QA is a friend either). Low point was about cussing out dental assistant who was apparently not native (how can I say this nicely without sounding prejudical and bigoted?) and recently relocated to California from elsewhere (Asia).
Me: Can I have the Dr's Tax Identification Number Please?
her: You mean Tax ID?
Me: yes, the tax id or identification number
Her:Doctor's tax identification?
Me: Yes, the number so I can verify your identification
Her: You want the Tax Id?
Me:There is a $1500 calander year maximum
Her: What is the maximum
Me:$1500, per calander year
Her:Oh $1500. Is that a calander year maximum?
Me: Yes, it's a calander year.
Her:What is your calander year?
(OMG - LIKE ON A CALANDER!)
Sigh. 15 minutes of that was about to kill me.
I'm good at my job. I just hate it. I guess that *is* part of being grown up. At least my supervisor adores me.
Ok, I did buy a good TV dinner (marie calander year's) but I think I need frozen strawberry waffles. That's comfort food, right?
Sunday, August 6
There's a lot to be said for being able to sit on the computer and play games all day. Mindless entertainment pretending to be a tough hunter-elf with a pet winged snake, killing all kinds of monsters and gathering treasure. I did nothing worthwhile with my day. Well, I did start a single load of laundry (sweatpants and towels, nothing I can actually wear!) and water half of the now-dead lawn. See? Nothing that needed to be done.
It was actually nice to not have to play responsible adult today. Henry called from San Antonio about an hour ago to let me know he landed safe (isn't flying STILL safer than driving? And he's gone ALL WEEK!!!). I didn't really chat with him much - lol I should feel bad but usually he is playing the game! Now I'm going to let all 3 dogs (Ba-ba-ganush, Banana and pembroke) lay on the bed with me while I curl up with a good book. Ahhh. Silence and nothing to do. Well, lots to do but Banana only cares about her dinner so I'm taking a break today.
I figured out I am something like 217 dog years old. Pretty cool.
And I am just counting down until next week anyway. Most of the time I feel so isolated here in Spokane with all my peeps so far away. It looks like we may be here a while though because of H's job. I'm not happy about that even a little bit. So I'm looking at houses to get an idea of what to do if we are staying. I can't take city life much longer - I'd prefer to live out just a little. Even out in Deer Park or Cheney and commuting would be better than living 20 feet from houses on either side (and having to constantly keep the dogs quiet).
Now I've started. Have to admit blog skills are very rusty. I used to write every day and something (life?) just started getting in the way. But somewhere I lost touch with myself and this is probably how I can start focusing on getting it back. Or something.
BTW - applesauce is NOT good all over inside of purse. Note to self: do not put applesause cup in purse loose and nailfile in purse loose.
It was actually nice to not have to play responsible adult today. Henry called from San Antonio about an hour ago to let me know he landed safe (isn't flying STILL safer than driving? And he's gone ALL WEEK!!!). I didn't really chat with him much - lol I should feel bad but usually he is playing the game! Now I'm going to let all 3 dogs (Ba-ba-ganush, Banana and pembroke) lay on the bed with me while I curl up with a good book. Ahhh. Silence and nothing to do. Well, lots to do but Banana only cares about her dinner so I'm taking a break today.
I figured out I am something like 217 dog years old. Pretty cool.
And I am just counting down until next week anyway. Most of the time I feel so isolated here in Spokane with all my peeps so far away. It looks like we may be here a while though because of H's job. I'm not happy about that even a little bit. So I'm looking at houses to get an idea of what to do if we are staying. I can't take city life much longer - I'd prefer to live out just a little. Even out in Deer Park or Cheney and commuting would be better than living 20 feet from houses on either side (and having to constantly keep the dogs quiet).
Now I've started. Have to admit blog skills are very rusty. I used to write every day and something (life?) just started getting in the way. But somewhere I lost touch with myself and this is probably how I can start focusing on getting it back. Or something.
BTW - applesauce is NOT good all over inside of purse. Note to self: do not put applesause cup in purse loose and nailfile in purse loose.
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